The 2016 Election and the Media

It’s Election Day at Unity High School. Students will vote today at 1 PM for Student Council President. Two candidates are running, Hillary and Donald. The teachers are not supposed to be involved or have a preference. But, most of the teachers prefer Hillary. Actually only 2 teachers like Donald: Sean and Kelly.

The students have to report to the auditorium at 12. They have to take their seats. They can eat their lunch while waiting for the stage to get prepared for voting.

Teacher #1(Whispering): I know we are not supposed to get involved but I hate that Donald kid. I can’t help myself. I have to do something.

Teacher#2: Me too. If we start talking to each other the students might hear us and we can convince them to vote for Hillary.
#1: But they are all wearing headphones!
#2: Maybe if we talk loud enough some might hear.
#1 (now louder): Have you heard about Donald’s latest scandal?
#2: Of Course. It’s been all over the news.
#1: Do you think the students know about it?
#2: I think most of them know.

Now louder

#1: YOU THINK IT MAY AFFECT THEIR VOTES?
#2: OF COURSE. IT’S A HUGE SCANDAL. I AM SURE IT IS OBVIOUS TO THE STUDENTS (wink) THAT THIS A VERY BIG DEAL. THEY CAN ALL SENSE THAT. I AM SURE.

Gradually all the other teachers join in the yelling except for Sean and Kelly who like Donald.

But now they also try to yell louder over the other teachers. They also have to pretend that they are having a teachers’ discussion not a campaign event.

WELL I AM SURE THEY HEARD ABOUT HILLARY’S SCANDALS TOO.

I AM SURE THEY UNDERSTAND THOSE ARE A BIGGER DEAL.

OUR STUDENTS ARE SO SMART AND INFORMED. THIS WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.

Their voices are drowned by the other teachers. The yelling is now so loud you can’t hear anything.

The students on the other hand have noise cancelling headphones. None of them seems phased by the discussion. Watching them you would think that they either don’t care about these scandals or can’t hear a thing.

All the teachers agree on one thing. It is going to be a difficult decision for every student. They will have to weigh all the scandals. They will hesitate. It will be a very slow election. It will take all afternoon.

At 1 PM the students take off their headphones and vote. The voting is done in minutes. Students seem to know so well who they want to vote for.

The winner is Donald!

Post-election analysis in the teachers’ lounge.

There is consensus among the teachers. The students are telling us something! It is so obvious! It is obvious to all the teachers that the students were swayed by Sean and Kelly talking about Hillary’s scandals more than they were swayed by all the other teachers.

The Parable of the Dishonest Steward is not about Honesty

Many People are caught up on the idea of the dishonest steward being dishonest that they miss the purpose of the parable altogether. So here is my version of the parable. Not that I can improve on Jesus’ version. I think some was lost in translation. In Arabic (which is close to Aramaic it’s a little easier).

Jesus said many times that if you use your money here in this world to build mansions they will be no use for you later. If you use this money to build a treasure in heaven (by giving it to Jesus) it will be far more valuable. So it is the wise thing to do. The exact same principle restated is to use this money (which will soon be worth nothing) to make friends (like Jesus) in the afterlife (again by giving it now to Jesus).

It’s like being the IT guy in charge of the website of a very large bank. If he knew he was being fired tomorrow (for whatever reason. Let’s say he was accused by the FCC and the bank would not spend money to defend him. He might even be guilty. It’s not the issue here). But he figured I will never get another job. I will have a criminal record. I will be on welfare for the rest of my life. Today I control millions of dollars. Tomorrow I will have nothing. I can’t transfer money into my own account. That will get caught. I can only adjust other balances. If the computer has a glitch, takes away a couple of zero’s from someone’s account, I fix that. It’s my job. So if you have $ 1,000,000 and the computer messes up and makes it $10,000 I fix that. All adjustments made by me being the IT guy are strictly “legal” and irreversible.  Here’s what I will do I will add money to these 2 guys accounts. They will each find an extra $ 5 million in their accounts and they will know who did it. The first guy owns hotels. I am sure he will let me stay at one of his hotels in Mexico for the rest of my life. The other is the Mexican version of Sam Walton. He will let me shop at his stores for free for food, clothes, and everything else. I will have zero cash, but, I will live happily ever after. I cannot be prosecuted. I will have zero assets so they can’t come after my assets.

The plan was so brilliant. When the board of the bank heard about it they had a good chuckle. One of them said “I wish I was so smart when I was his age”. Another said “It seems that these shady characters are smarter than the more honest ones in their generation”.

So honesty and all that aside (We will talk about honesty later because I do care about it) I just wanted to show you how giving your money to Jesus is just simply the most brilliant financial planning.